Been thinking…

As I write more and more of my second book, I’m less happy with my first book.

It’s not that I’m embarrassed or anything, it’s just that if I’m to become a successful writer, that first book will be where so many potential fans will start.

Anyway, I’ve re-written the first few pages & loaded up both versions here. I’d REALLY appreciate it if people could take some time and read the pair of them and let me know what you think.

All The Stars That I Can See – Book 1 -test

All The Stars That I Can See – Book 1 -original

Brett Bridger

Using Tech as a Conveniance or a Plot line?

Interesting article about one author’s view on teleporters. He’s annoyed because everyone is now using them as a convenience in their story, not as a plot device. Took me a minute to figure out where he was coming from, but once I did I suddenly saw potential in lots of tech devices.

What if it suddenly doesn’t work? What if it’s been malfunctioning all along, but no-one noticed? <Evil laugh fades into distance…>

http://io9.com/the-tragic-demise-of-science-fictions-greatest-idea-1642504729

Brett Bridger

First version compared to the final

I was talking with a friend and jokingly said i should post the first version of my book, just so people can see how it (and me) have grown. To my consternation he enthusiastically agreed.

So firstly, here is the link to my book’s webpage where you can download the first chapter 9or you can do the same from the Amazon Kindle site) – http://atsics.com/.

And now, here’s the original that I gave to a few friends to get their opinion on if I should write it:

Chapter 1
Even through the thick glass the noise overwhelmed him, only his determination allowed him to stand. The giant ship roared by, streaking down the launch ramp. “Fly fast, Luv.” He whispered under his breath – not that anyone even standing next to him could have heard anything. Barely had the first ship reached the end of the ski-jump when the second’s engines roared to life. “Shit, someone’s in a hurry.” He turned his back on the sight and went to the nearest data terminal. Immediately he saw the reason for the rush. Two unidentified blips closing at high speed from the south. “Shit, shit, shit! Why didn’t they allow me to install defences! They knew these idiots were whackos!” Logging into the control systems, he activated a set of systems that the leaders didn’t really know about. “Well,” he mumbled, “strictly speaking they ARE fire suppression systems, just not the kind of fire they thought.” “Good, they’re coming in low.” He set the systems for “last minute”.
He could hear the rumble of the approaching jets and switched on the external tracking cameras.
All he had to do was distract them. Sixty seconds more and the ships would be well away.
“Victor-Hotel, this is Alpha-Charlie-4, we confirm 1 valid launch, over.”
“Roger, Alpha-Charlie, ETA over?”
She glanced down at her tactical display and replied “90 seconds to the Centre”.
“Negative, Alpha-Charlie, time till launch window to intercept”.
She went cold. Glancing down she took longer than her training allowed, “38 seconds….. Mark, over. Second launch, repeat, confirming a second valid launch.”
“Authorisation, appearing on your tactical now, weapons hot, cleared to fire. Acknowledge Alpha-Charlie”
Silence.
“Alpha-Charlie-4, repeat, authorisation, appearing on your tactical now, weapons hot, cleared to fire. Acknowledge Alpha-Charlie
Silence.
“Alpha-Charlie-4, you are ordered to respond. Failure to respond will be considered treason, Alpha-Charlie-4.”
Silence.
Changing band, the controller contacts her wingman. “Alpha-Charlie-5, this is Victor-Hotel, do you copy, over?”
A coldness overtook him as he responded “Roger, Victor-Hotel, this is Alpha-Charlie-5, over.”
“Splash Alpha-Charlie-4, now, authorisation appearing on your screen now. Weapons hot, acknowledge.”
Fearing to glance down, he does anyway.
“Acknowledged, Victor-Hotel”
Knowing he will probably be facing court-martial he switches to inter-plane comms as he slows down the plane, “Mary, what are you doing! Respond! I’ve been ordered to bloody well shoot you down.”
“Do what you have to, Nick, I’m sorry this will all be on your conscience, I just couldn’t live with it on mine.”
“Alpha-Charlie-5, fire, I repeat, fire!”
By training alone, the finger flips the selection to air-to-air-thermal and presses “Pickle 1, pickle 2, over”
He sees two flashes from one of the jets.
“What! They’re too far away.”
4 seconds later the closer plane explodes in the air.
“It’s started. Damn them! Damn them all!”
“Alpha-Charlie-5, what is your status, over?”
Silence.
“Alpha-Charlie-5, repeat, what is your status, over?”
“Victor-Hotel, this is Alpha-Charlie-5, target neutralised, over.” He surprised himself with matching the tone of that soulless voice over the comms.
“Roger, Alpha-Charlie, ETA over?”
He glanced down at his tactical display and replied “8 seconds to launch for target 2. Mark, over. Target 1 18 seconds, mark.”
“Authorisation, appearing on your tactical now, weapons hot, cleared to fire. Acknowledge Alpha-Charlie”
Silence.
“Alpha-Charlie-5, repeat, authorisation, appearing on your tactical now, weapons hot, cleared to fire. Acknowledge Alpha-Charlie
“Acknowledged, Victor-Hotel”
“Alpha-Charlie-5, confirm only 2 valid lanches from facility, over”
“Confirmed, Victor-Hotel”.
“Damn this cold, emotionless voice!” he thought. “How could someone care so little for his fellow pilots?”

So, comments anyone?

Brett Bridger

Who’s in Control?

On one of the blogs I follow, Ryan blogged about who is in control, your characters or you, the author. The post was great, but the comments from various different authors and artists was just as inspirational. I didn’t want to just repost this, as you would loose the reply’s, so follow this link instead and see it in all it’s original glory.

http://ryanlanz.com/2014/09/20/when-your-characters-wont-behave/

Found an old start to a story

Sorting out some old files and i came across an attempt at writing a horror story I did a year or so ago. What do people think? A friend of mine into horror said it was too ‘nice’.

Dying to Meet the In-Laws.
Toby didn’t really know what he was doing. Well, to be more specific, he didn’t know why he was doing what he was doing.
She was SO not his type. Not Mod, not Emo, not semi-gothic, but full on, pale skin, jet black hair, black lipstick, long velvet (black, of course) dress with long sleeves type Goth. The only thing missing was the tats. Thinking about it (he seemed to think of nothing else the last week except her), she could have a complete body tat and he’d never know, so fully did she cover up. He’d heard the rumours from the girls, she was supposed to have some med cert to excuse her from all physical activity. Even the other girls had never seen her even partly undressed. “What was it about her?” he asked himself again. He just had to look around him and see his ‘normal’ type, big, buxom, barely clothed, cheerleader types.
But he was captivated. Whenever she walked by, his eyes automatically followed her. He found himself making excuses to be where he knew she would be.
Joel slapped him on the back of the head and said, “Dude, wake up! She’s trouble man, don’t do it. You remember Frank Roche? The big footballer dude? Well word’s out he’s in hospital, tried to crack on to her and she snuffed him. So he apparently tried to get a little rough. Marylou was there and she was shaking just remembering, apparently she grabbed Frank by the arm and threw him against a wall. Broken face – dude, it’s supposed to be a real mess – cracked ribs and an arm that was barely still attached when the parra’s arrived.”
Toby barely heard a word. Just as she turned the corner to go into the library complex she turned, saw him and winked. Didn’t smile, didn’t seem to change her expression at all, just winked.
Once she was gone, he seemed to snap out of it. It was as though his mind was on hold when she was around. As soon as she was gone, it started to fast-forward the last few minutes. A couple of minutes late, his mind finally caught up with what Joel had been saying. Putting his hands on his hips, he turned to his friend Joel and said, “Come on, don’t believe all that crap you’re told. How could someone so thin and willowy toss 200 pounds of brainless muscle around? He probably tripped over something then tried to beat the ground into submission for tripping him up.”
Tony shook his head to clear it and said, “Come on, let’s go get a burger.”
“It’s started again”, she thought to herself. “It won’t be long until I have to move on again. Maybe I will have just enough time to get to know that boy, what was his name? Oh, yes, Toby. Tasty little Toby.” No one was round to notice the second smile she had ever had on her face since she arrived in town.
Meanwhile, in the cafeteria, Toby was tucking in to his second burger.
“Hey, dude!” joked Joel, “you preggers or somethin’? Man, you’ve been stowing it away the last week.”
Toby thought about it for a moment, actually he HAD been eating a lot more than usual the last week. Mentally shrugging it off, he joked back, “Yeah, twins!”
Behind his funny exterior, Joel was really worried about his friend. Maybe because he didn’t have all that many friends that he worried a lot, but Toby had sure been acting strangely the last week or so. Ever since he started going calf-eyed at that new girl, what’s her name? Yeah, Catharine, he’d been changing. Not in the normal way, he’d seen dudes fall in love, this was different. Like maybe he was on drugs or something.
Joel may act like a spaced out guy on campus, but actually he hated drugs. He’s older brother had OD’d on ‘harmless’ Ecstasy, leaving a hole in his heart that he’d never been able to fill.

Editing time yet again

I LOVE creating a world with my words.
I HATE mowing the grass & pruning the trees.
This blogger has captured that frustration well…

Linda Bloodworth

Here we go again. I’ve had a second round of Betas and things have changed yet again. I’m not surprised and really, it’s expected, I mean who can be perfect? I am now waiting until September when I hand over my story to an editor and sit back and let it happen. I hope I can make a Christmas release, but who knows?

So much of writing is a wait and see game. Come on September!

I’ve been avoiding writing my second book because I want a break from the craziness of the whole process. I suppose I will start that again when I have time this weekend. I hope I can get my act together. The sooner the better. I know it’s better to have multiple books and that when I actually do have fans they’ll want books faster, especially after the ending I have, I think I might…

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Dyslexia and Writing

Even having some friends with dyslexia, I still can’t image the frustration they must feel at times in communicating. It’s frustrating enough for me to find the words to express my thoughts without having added challengers. Anyway, had someone at work with a particularly rare and severe form and they put me on to this product:

http://www.gingersoftware.com/

of all the products that she tried, this one was in a class of it’s own. It’s been specifically designed for those with extra challengers and made a huge difference to her ability to communicate via writing.

Anyway, hope this will help someone.

Brett